Merry Christmas from the Stewarts!

The Yules are with us again in 2011. Billy J., Ma, Meshack, and Grampa Yule are a little behind this year. Meshack is always a little more behind than the others, but he's starting to assert himself. That's not always a good thing, but the joy of the season is! We hope you enjoy Meshack's ramblings. Billy J. didn't.

If you're new to the Stewart Christmas letter, you're in for something a little off-beat on occasion.  It's something slightly different each year.  Sometimes, it can be a bit strange...like in 2006.  The birth of Christ is the reason for the celebration, but it is a celebration and we like to have a little fun with it.  Enjoy it with us!

If you haven't seen the latest edition, don't worry your little head (or your big head, as the case may be). A human-readable copy printed on the finest paper is probably in the mail (or in the kitchen waiting for a stamp).  You'll want to keep your paper copy handy for decipherin' (at least for 2006).  For the impatient or less fortunate ones, you can select from a number of priceless prizes kept in the Prized and Priceless Archive, below.

The Prized and Priceless Archive of Christmases Past

You could be catching up or just remembering, but you'll need a copy of Adobe's Acrobat Reader to view the letters. Don't have the reader? Visit the Adobe website to download the freebie.

Some of the letters have links to other things, so be sure to use a mouse that's been trained to hunt for Easter eggs at Christmas! If your mouse hasn't been trained, just ask Meshack. He's a little slow for an elf, but he's good with animals.

Click a link below for the year you're looking for:

2011 - A Christmas With The Yules

2010 - Tales of the Father (The Elfin Brotherhood of St. Nicholas)
    (Elfin Chant: Natus Salvatoris [Listen: WMA MP3])

2009 - Elfin Greetings [Listen: WMA MP3 ] (Christmas Lights & Snowy Nights)

2008 - A Stewart Christmas (The Hearth of Christmas)

2007 - A Stewart Holiday (Tunagram, The Christmas Carol)

2006 - Christmas 2006 (Meet the Elves)

2005 - Christmas 2005 (Elficide, Christmas on the Trail)

2004 - Another Stewart Christmas (Kidzincollege Blues, News on the 12's) and The Star

2003 - New Year 2004 (Bonfire 2003, Christmas Warriors)

If you were reading before 2003, you're almost old enough to forget things. Just like Dave. He'll stir up the attic dust and add more archives later.

Our First Audio Letter - 2006

The mountain elf is a busy, tireless critter.  And the elves have been busy.  The Yule family was so happy to have a crowd for Christmas they drove all the way to Murfreesboro to cut a record (only to be disappointed that the MP3 file didn't fit the spindle of their Grahmophone).  It's not great, but it's a lot less confusing than what they wrote.

Take a listen. You can still download the original 2006 audio and enjoy the fun of Billy J., Meshack, Ma, and Grandpa Yule.  Two formats are available: WMA (Windows Media Audio) or MP3.

Many past visitors to this page were immediately startled by the voice of Billy J. Yule. The media player used to sit right about where you're reading now. That clamorous outburst from the Yule family (Tennessee Elves) has been silenced after two long years. Perhaps it will be replaced with a briefer introduction in the future.

A Brief History

“Several friends have asked "Who writes this letter?"  Well, in all truth, I do.  I crawl out of the X-Mas box once a year, pick the tinsel from my hair, and check up on the family so you won't miss a thing.  Actually, I keep the Stewarts up-to-date, too (weak minds, short memories).  A quick rummage through each year's archive turned up some interesting articles.”

The year was 1994 when, shall we call him “Elf”, made himself known to the readers. “Elf” penned the introduction above after coming out-of-the-box. Arrogant, but the consummate ghost writer, Elf maintained a good relationship for many years.  He chose to move on abandoning the Stewarts in 2005 amidst ugly rumors of attempted elficide (re: Christmas letter, 2005). Elfless, the 2005 letter was the work of human hands.

Some news travels fast. Even from Texas to Tennessee. Christmas 2006 dawned in a new place with new friends and a lively and unexpected bounty of elfin assistance.

About Christmas Elves

Got Elf?  Every Christmas box has one.  Open the nearest pack of tinsel and sniff for ginger bread and eggnog—telltale signs of elf activity. The fragrance of peppermint is the sign of a permanent resident, though some regional variations tend toward the hint of a mint julep.  They’re watching. Are you aware?

Holiday Recipes from Grandma's Kitchen

Good food travels fast—from the kitchen, to the palate, to the stomach! Some of the best food comes from the delightfully older women in the kitchen. Younger kitchen princesses just have to face the truth: You're good, but Grandma is better! Mother Yule agrees that these time-honored treats from Margaret Stewart's kitchen are down-right tasty! Even gourmet food critics have a hard time downplaying Grandmother Stamped and Elf Approved status.

Coconut Pound Cake (official origin unknown, but passed down from the kitchens of Margaret Miller Stewart and Sue Stewart Stranathan) When properly cooked, this cake develops a thick, crunchy crust that bursts with flavor. Pound cakes store well. Slices can be toasted or pan-grilled to add more crunchy crust or simply to restore that "just baked" flavor. NOTICE: At least one brave (now ecstatic) soul has strayed from Grandma's tried and true instructions. Butter was substituted for both shortening and margerine. Results were reported to be sinful. Occupy Confessionals as needed. Ingredients 2/3 c shortening                     3 c flour                             1 c milk 1/2 c margarine                   1/2 tsp salt                       1 1/2 tsp vanilla    3 c granulated sugar            1 tsp baking powder             1 c coconut flakes    5 large eggs  Directions Pre-heat oven to 350 deg Fahrenheit. Flour a bundt or ring pan. Mix flour, salt, and baking powder together and set aside. Beat sugar, margarine, and shortening together until smooth.  Add eggs to sugar mixture and beat until smooth. Continue beating and alternating with the milk, slowly add flour mixture and milk to the sugar and egg mixture. Add vanilla and slowly add coconut to the batter, beating until the coconut is evenly distributed. (Note: Coconut tends to collect on the beaters, so you may wish to mix it into the batter with a spoon. Otherwise, be sure to remove and stir it back into the batter.) Pour batter into floured cake pan and place pan on cookie sheet (to catch any spillover during cooking.) Bake for 70-80 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the cake comes out clean. When removed from oven, cool in the pan for 15-20 minutes before turning cake onto a cooling rack. A warm cake releases more easily from the pan. The cake may be returned to the oven and warmed if needed. Serves as many as are still standing once the fightin' over it is done.

Merry Christmas!